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Common
Writing Mistakes
by: Michael LaRocca
Most books aren't rejected because the stories are "bad." They're
rejected because they're not "ready to read." In short, minor
stuff like typos, grammar, spelling, etc.
I don't mean places where we, as authors, deliberately break the rules.
Those are fine. That's part of our job. Language always changes with use,
and we can help it on its way. No, I'm referring to places where someone
just plain didn't learn the rule or got confused or overlooked it during
the self-edits.
I've been editing novels for over three years. Looking back at my experiences,
I feel like sharing the most common mistakes I've seen. If you'll go through
your manuscript and fix these before you submit it to a publisher, your
odds of publication will increase dramatically.
Once you've found a publisher who publishes what you write, you want
to present yourself in the best way possible. Submitting an unedited manuscript
is a bit like going to a job interview wearing a purple Mohawk, no shoes,
torn jeans, and a dirty T-shirt. Your resume may be perfect, and your
qualifications impeccable, but something tells me you won't get the job.
The publisher is investing a lot in every book it accepts. E-publishers
tend to invest loads of time, and print publishers tend to invest an advertising
budget and the cost of carrying a large inventory. Why ask them to invest
hours and days of editing time as well? If the publisher gets two or three
or ten nearly identical books, you want yours to be the one requiring
the least editing.
The first thing you need to do, and I hope you've already done it, is
use the spelling and grammar checkers in your word processor. This will
catch many of the "common mistakes" on my list. But I've been
asked to edit many books where the author obviously didn't do this, and
I confess that I may well have been lazy and let a couple of mine get
to my editors unchecked. Bad Michael!
There are some other valuable lists at the following websites:
Common Errors in English http://www.wsu.edu/~brians/errors
Words That Are Often Confused http://lbarker.orcon.net.nz/words.html
Here's a list of the mistakes I see most often.
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Dialogue where everyone speaks in perfect English and never violates
any of the bullet points below. Okay, I made that up. That's not really
a common problem at all. But I have seen it, and it's a terrible thing.
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It's is a contraction for "it is" and its is possessive.
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Who's is a contraction for "who is" and whose is possessive.
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You're is a contraction for "you are" and your is possessive.
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They're is a contraction for "they are," there is a place,
their is possessive.
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There's is a contraction for "there is" and theirs is
possessive.
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If you've been paying attention to the above examples, you've noticed
that possessive pronouns never use apostrophes. Its, whose, your,
yours, their, theirs...
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Let's is a contraction for "let us."
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When making a word plural by adding an s, don't use an apostrophe.
(The cats are asleep.)
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When making a word possessive by adding an s, use an apostrophe.
(The cat's bowl is empty.)
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A bath is a noun, what you take. Bathe is a verb, the action you
do when taking or giving a bath.
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A breath is a noun, what you take. Breathe is a verb, the action
you do when taking a breath.
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You wear clothes. When you put them on, you clothe yourself. They
are made of cloth.
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Whenever you read a sentence with the word "that," ask
yourself if you can delete that word and still achieve clarity. If
so, kill it. The same can be said of all sentences. If you can delete
a word without changing the meaning or sacrificing clarity, do it.
"And then" is a phrase worth using your word processor's
search feature to look for.
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Keep an eye on verb tenses. "He pulled the pin and throws the
grenade" is not a good sentence.
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Keep an eye on making everything agree regarding singular and plural.
"My cat and my wife is sleeping," "My cat sleep on
the sofa," and "My wife is a beautiful women" are not
good sentences. (I exaggerate in these examples, but you know what
I mean.)
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I and me, he and him, etc. I hope no editor is rejecting any novels
for this one, because I suspect that most people get confused at times.
In dialogue, do whatever the heck you want because it sounds more
"natural." But for the sake of your narrative, I'll try
to explain the rule and the cheat. The rule involves knowing whether
your pronoun is the subject or object. When Jim Morrison of The Doors
sings, "til the stars fall from the sky for you and I,"
he's making a good rhyme but he's using bad grammar. According to
the rule, "you and I" is the object of the preposition "for,"
thus it should be "for you and me." The cheat involves pretending
"you and" isn't there, and just instinctively knowing "for
I" just doesn't sound right. (I think only native English speakers
can use my cheat. For the record, I have great admiration for authors
writing in languages that aren't their native tongues.)
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Should of, would of, could of. This one can make me throw things.
It's wrong! What you mean is should have, would have, could have.
Or maybe you mean the contractions. Should've, would've, could've.
And maybe 've sounds a bit like of. But it's not! Of is not a verb.
Not now, not ever.
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More, shorter sentences are better. Always. Don't ask a single sentence
to do too much work or advance the action too much, because then you've
got lots of words scattered about like "that" and "however"
and "because" and "or" and "as" and
"and" and "while," much like this rather pathetic
excuse for a sentence right here.
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On a similar (exaggerated) note: "He laughed a wicked laugh
as he kicked Ralphie in the face while he aimed the gun at Lerod and
pulled the trigger and then laughed maniacally as Lerod twisted in
agony because of the bullet that burned through his face and splattered
his brains against the wall and made the wall look like an overcooked
lasagne or an abstract painting." Now tell me this sentence isn't
trying to do too much.
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Too means also, two is a number, to is a preposition.
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He said/she said. Use those only when necessary to establish who's
speaking. They distract the reader, pulling him out of the story and
saying, "Hey look, you're reading a book." Ideally, within
the context of the dialogue, we know who's talking just by the style
or the ideas. When a new speaker arrives on the scene, identify him
or her immediately. Beyond that, keep it to a minimum. Oh yeah, and
give every speaker his/her own paragraph.
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Billy-Bob smiled his most winning smile and said, "What's a
nice girl like you doing in a place like this?" I don't like
this. Use two shorter sentences in the same paragraph. Billy-Bob smiled
his most winning smile. "What's a nice girl like you doing in
a place like this?" Same effect, fewer words, no dialogue tag
(he said).
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In the previous example, I don't like "smiled his most winning
smile," because it's redundant and also cliched. Please, if you
find yourself writing something like that, try to find a better way
to express it before you just give up and leave it like it is. During
the self-edit, I mean, not during the initial writing.
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"The glow-in-the-dark poster of Jesus glowed in the dark."
This editor won't let that one go. Much too redundant, and it appeared
in a published novel.
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Lie is what you do when you lie down on the bed, lay is what you
do to another object that you lay on the table. Just to confuse matters,
the past tense of lie is lay. Whenever I hit a lay/lie word in reading,
I stop and think. Do that when you self-edit. (Note: Don't fix this
one in dialogue unless your character is quite well-educated, because
most people say it wrong. I do.)
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Beware of the dangling modifier. "Rushing into the room, the
exploding bombs dropped seven of the soldiers." Wait a minute!
The bombs didn't rush into the room. The soldiers did. To get all
technical about it, the first part is the "dependent clause,"
and it must have the same subject as the "independent clause"
which follows. Otherwise it's amateur, distracting, and a real pain
for your poor overworked editor.
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If you are able (many readers are not), keep an eye out for missing
periods, weird commas, closing quotes, opening quotes, etc. When I
read a book, be it an ebook or a printed book, I can't help but spot
every single one that's missing. They slap me upside the head, which
makes me a great editor but a lousy reader. If you're like me, use
that to your advantage. If not, that's what editors are for!
Michael LaRocca's website at http://freereads.topcities.com
was chosen by WRITER'S DIGEST as one of The 101 Best Websites For Writers
in 2001 and 2002. He published two novels in 2002 and has two more scheduled
for publication in 2004. He also works as an editor for an e-publisher.
He teaches English at a university in Shaoxing, Zhejiang Province, China,
and publishes the free weekly newsletter Mad About Books.
Copyright 2004, Michael LaRocca
About The Author
Michael is an American who's lived in Asia since 1999. He currently
teaches English at Shaoxing University in Zhejiang Province, China. He
telecommutes to Hong Kong as a legal transcriptionist, edits for Books
Unbound, and he published four novels in 2002.
His website will show you how to improve your writing, find the right
publisher, and promote your book after the sale. It explains why you should
never pay to be published. It has won two Sime~Gen Readers Choice Awards
and was listed in Writers Digest's The Best 101 Websites For Writers in
2001 and 2002. http://freereads.topcities.com
michaellarocca@yawweb.org
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